Sadly, we lost the baby yesterday. When a nurse asked
my dad & I to leave so she could clean Denise, she
found the baby was crowning. The baby was born quickly
but the little guy was only about 6 months along and
they couldn't get his heart & breathing going. The
ObGyn said nobody suffered; Denise didn't feel a thing
and the baby passed away peacefully. He's in a better
place than we are now, and quite well taken care of.
As bad as this is, I still saw God working in the
situation. My dad & I were going to leave the
hospital, and a neighbor happened to be in the lobby
visiting her husband. The few minutes that we were
unexpectly detained talking allowed us to hear the
"code blue to CCU" over the hospital-wide intercom and
allowed us to get back up there. Otherwise I would've
been most of the way home. Bittersweet, but I was able
to hold Daniel Williams while he was still warm. And
for that I'm thankful. He was a perfectly formed
little guy, 14 inches long, 2 pounds, 3 ounces, and
beautiful (fortunately, all the kids get ther good
looks from Denise's side of the family :O). I'm
simply not prepared for the decisions I must make
today and tomorrow regarding mortuary, cremation,
casket, funeral, memorial, etc.
Densie started recovering from the birth-related
issues remarkably well. But the other issues are still
quite dire. They had to start blood transfusions, her
lungs have increased in inflammation & fluid. Her
blood sugar went low, acid too high. She could take in
oxygen well, but couldn't get rid of the carbon
dioxide fast enough. Kidney and liver function got
slightly worse.
Last night they tried a couple procedures to help
correct the acid & carbon dioxide problems. The
acidosis has gotten slightly lower. While still very
bad, her blood pressure, blood sugar, and heart rate
numbers improved slightly. That's a good sign that
she's able to improve.
While typing this, the doctor called and said that her
urine output has increased dramatically from what it
was yesterday afternoon (though it's lower than when
she first went into ICU), and that's a good sign. She
has no uterine bleeding, which is a good sign.
He said the most crucial items (read: prayer points)
are oxyenation (lung fluid & swelling) and kidney
function.
Even though the doctors & nurses say Denise is
completely sedated & probably can't hear anything, I
still talk to her. I thought it was sappy when I saw
that in movies & TV shows. But now that I'm in this
situation, it seems to be the perfect thing to do. I
figure maybe she is hearing something, and it's good
therapy for me. I'm joking around (my way to cope) and
telling her about all kinds of mundane things, along
with plenty of encouragement and prayer whispered into
her ear. Her dad & sister were singing to her all
night long. I thought I'd bring an iPod to let her
listen to so she can hear all the music she likes to
dance to. That's infinitely better than me trying to
sing. :O)
I've spoken and read email from many of you that said
you've been praying fervently for Denise & wisdom for
the doctors & nurses. The fact that there's been some
improvement is encouraging, and I'd like you all to
know that. But she's still in very bad shape, so keep
lifting her up! Losing our baby boy yesterday
constituted the worst day of my life. The possibility
of having to bury my son and my 32-year-old wife at
this time is an unbearable thought. The kids (Gracie,
3 1/2 and Jacob, 15 months) are asking about mommy
more and more as the days go by. Truly, I'm having
"Job" phase in my life. About the only thing that's
propping me up right now is my faith in Christ and the
resulting confidence we have in where we're going when
God's done using us for His purpurse here on earth. I
say this because some of you stated that you admired
my strength through this. Trust me, it ain't *my*
strength. Not one bit.
Thanks for pulling for us. Please pour it on right
now!
:O) Phil
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