Coping, Amnesia, Blessings Counted, Music

Today has been fairly uneventful, as far as major news goes. Transfusion, antibiotic switch (Vancomycin to Tobramycin), physical & occupational therapy (Denise has expressed that she likes to move). There might be another organism found in the fluid from the paracentis (a gram-negative bacilli possibly). As usual, there is a waiting game involved with the cultures. I should have asked if this might be the same organism that was found from the swab that the ObGyn did a while back, in which they found p. aeruginosa, but I forgot. I remember from bio way back that a bacilli is a rod-shaped bacteria, and I read that p. aeruginosa is gram-negative (can anyone explain "gram-negative" within the 300-word limit of a comment?). No word on the CT scan for neuropathy causes yet. Still have the usual infections, fevers, weakness, blood concerns, ab swelling, etc.

I talked to someone that gave me an idea of helping the kids cope. I was already going to get video of the kids to show to Denise. It was suggested that I take video of Denise while she's very alert & can smile & be expressive facially (have this happy footage at the beginning of the tape, and at the end). Also get video of her sleeping. Show the room so that Gracie can see the pictures on the walls that she made. Show the bed (Gracie was comfortable with pushing buttons on the bed when Denise was in a "regular" room). Even get video of nurses taking blood pressure, using the stethoscope, and doing other "regular" procedures that Gracie is familiar with (Gracie has a Fisher Price doctor kit with these items, and she uses them all the time). I can show these things to the kids to reassure them that mommy's still OK ("OK" being relative, of course).

Today, the temporary amnesia that can result from the sedative (Atavan) really hit home. Again, she mouthed that she wanted me to take her home. Again I explained that she's been in the hospital for 4 weeks and has Valley Fever, not Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever (she DOES remember coming into the hospital), she's got chest tubes, feeding tube, tracheostomy, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum (ad nauseum, for those of you that don't know latin, means "getting sick of seeing the same commercials over & over). She had a look of disbelief on her face. She didn't remember visitors from yesterday. I took photos off of the wall and asked if she recognized the people in the pictures. In many cases, she did not. Fortunately, she recognizes me. That's encouraging, since she'll pucker up for a kiss. Don't want her doing that for just any guy, you see.

Denise's regular doctor (the one that just became a daddy) indicated that he would be less involved. I met another doctor this evening that has been following Denise's case. He showed me the chest x-rays and pointed out the improvement between August 2 and today. Lungs are still bad, but much better than they were. He stated that earlier in this ordeal, nobody expected Denise to survive with the ARDS (Advanced Respiratory Distress Syndrome... the critical lung issue a couple weeks ago) that bad, on top of the other vital organs shutting down (remember she was going into septic shock and they gave her Xigris to combat the sepsis). He also said that he could think of one other person that was in the state that Denise was in that survived, and that was about 15 years ago. Hearing these things made me count my blessings again!

In addition to reading to Denise, I've been playing music she likes, too. She's usually been asleep for that. Today was the first time she wanted to hear music while alert. We played a whole bunch of songs on the iPod. Some highlights: She started rolling her head side-to-side, just about in time with Fleetwood Mac's "Hold Me." During "Teach Your Children Well" by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young she smiled & turned her head to look at a family picture taped on the bed rail, raising her eyebrows a couple times. "I've Got To Walk That Lonesome Road" by the Stamps has a part where the bass singer dips *really* low, and at that part Denise made the same face she always makes at that part ("Did that sound come from a person or a whale?"). My favorite moment: During Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" she was moving her legs and shrugging her shoulders, shaking the bed so much that a portable oxygen tank was rattling in the bracket. That's pretty fitting for her, I think.

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