Still waiting, Good signs, Tears, Party planning

I haven't heard any definite word from the infectious disease doctor about our latest scary situation with the infection (remember a few days ago we were encouraged to hear that the two infections are probably the same organism, and if so, there is medicine available). But there are some things happening that might indicate that Denise is whipping the infection(s). Her ab swelling has gone down a bit and it's softer to the touch, her fevers topped in the 102 range & were frequently hovering around 100. Also, white count lowered to 13. I guess that if it gets TOO low, that means that she's incapable of making the white cells. But lowering to the current range might indicate that fewer white cells are needed to fight infections. The doctor said that they were going to look into the possibility that the PICC line might be problematic as far as infection

Overall, it was a fairly uneventful weekend for Denise; more fine-tuning of her treatments. Her hemoglobin count has been low, so she's been given a couple units of blood. They're going to check to see if she's destroying blood cells (hemolizing... the new word I learned today). Fluid in the lungs has increased, but this is due to the IV feeding & doesn't seem to be a big worry at this point. The lovenox blood thinner has been discontinued (hmm... so when they start it up again, does that mean it'll be dishalted or disstopped or disdesisted or disceased?). She's got cuffs on her lower legs that inflate & deflate to keep blood from pooling & clotting now, and she hates them. She was able to get into a cardiac chair for about 3 hours today (sleeping much of the time). At one point today she was sleeping (not sedated) and had some of the nicest stats I've seens in weeks... fever at 99.8, heart rate 112, respiration rate 23, oxygen saturation 100%, using 40% oxygen concentration. But when I when I had to leave her tonight, she was back to sweating, feeling anxious, and having numbers to prove it. In my visit just before the shift change, she had tears dripping from her eyes (haven't seen this much). She indicated that she was scared & frustrated. I couldn't do anything to cheer her up, and I had to leave. That was tough. Real tough.

Today was my first "full" day back at work with the computer classes (my hours have been greatly reduced so I can be available for Denise & the kids). I was very anxious the whole time... I'd gotten used to being able to be at the hospital any time I needed/wanted to be there. Somehow, the CCU crew managed to get Denise through the day without me. First day for the kids in day care, also. We decided to go with a licensed home day care that one of the neighbors on our block runs. Close to home, and Gracie & Jacob don't have to be split up. Plus they'll get home-cooked Filipino food for lunch sometimes (I'm jealous... her pan de sal is legendary).

I was reading a section in "Where Is God When It Hurts" that addresses the way we treat suffering people. One thing that really stuck out at me over the weekend was a statement made by someone that was terminally ill (I guess we all are... one death per person, no ups, no extras), wherein they said that they hated the feeling of not being needed. We all like to think that we matter somewhere along the line; that if we weren't around, something would go wrong, and we'd be missed. It hit me that I could do better than just telling Denise how much she's sorely missed & how things aren't the same with her away from home. Gracie's birthday is coming up in October, and I got the idea of having Denise plan the party, just like she always does... however this time, she'll plan it from the hospital bed. She decided on a fiesta theme. I'm going to visit some party supply stores and take digital pictures of all the appropriate invitations & decorations. Then I'll show the pics to Denise & have her decide what to get. Actually, I don't have time to do this... anyone want to borrow our camera & take the pictures for me? Any suggestions for good and reasonably priced catered Mexican food?

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