Rolled herself along in a wheelchair

Denise got to take another wheelchair ride today, and rolled herself along in the lobby. It was only for a few feet, and it exhausted her, but she did it. Her parents & a couple friends from Coalinga also took her to the chapel, and went to a park that's adjacent to the hospital. Those trips are great for her morale. Today she got an IV inserted. I don't believe this is a PICC line this time. My thinking is that PICC lines are designed to stay in for a while. Admittedly, I'm probably reading too much into it, but my thinking is that maybe they're not anticipating her staying much longer at all. Still no work on the echocardiogram, vision, or when she might be moved out to the rehab facility. Her voice sounds stronger and more normal each day.
Tonight she was tired. A couple of her college buddies called in to see about a visit, but she told them that she was already exhausted... all visited out for the day (well... she *did* put up with a visit from me later). The kids only saw her for a little bit tonight, which worked out well. It allowed Denise & I some alone time. She wanted hugs, hugs, and more hugs. Right on! She was bringing up some things she remembered about her hospital stay. Some things really happened (for example, she remembered touching the faces of nurses, and getting her toenails painted). Other things were dreams or hallucinations from a few weeks ago. I'm interested in finding out what else she remembers as time goes on. She started crying, too. She wasn't sad, she said... just felt like crying a little. After what she's been through, she's got every right to do so. During last night's visit, Jacob reached out for Denise so hard that he almost squirmed out of my arms. But tonight he wasn't into the visit when he arrived. He had an accident that resulted in a fat lip during a trip to the Kidspace Museum with Denise's parents today. So he wasn't feeling too great about anything. Gracie did well, but got too hot wearing the mask. The kids had balloon animals from having dinner with Denise's folks at Twohey's restaurant (an area institution). Gracie's kitty cat had one cheek blow up, so that caused some grief later that night. I told her that I could do some balloon animals. She asked if I could fix the cat's cheek. That got me to thinking. Perhaps I'll run over to the party supply store this week, get some balloon animal balloons, and try to make a spare cheek part for a balloon cat. Such is my life.

Some things I forgot to mention this week... I'm forgetting things & wearing down, I guess.
Last Sunday: I was treated to a much-needed massage. The guy that did it has a 20-year-old son with cerebral palsy. The massage was great for starting to work the kinks out of my neck & back that have been building up over the last 3 1/2 months. But hearing him talk about how their son's been a blessing was just as good for the spirits as the kneading was for the muscles & joints. Things haven't always been positive, of course. But I found myself thinking that if this guy could get through 20 years of living with a loved one that's physically not up to snuff, and see plenty of blessings during that time, I should be able to get through a couple more months without falling apart.
Last Week: The chaplain gave us a book called "Safe In The Arms of God" to read together. It'll come in handy for when we're ready to start dealing with the loss of the baby. The chaplain commented that he liked this blog idea, so I set one up for him so he can keep his supporters updated on his ministry. He's a neat guy, so Denise loved his many visits and hopes to keep tabs on what he's up to once she's done at USC. I'm thinking of getting a license plate frame for her that says "USC Alumni" when this is all over.
Friday: I went to the memorial service for the teacher from my school that I mentioned in the blog a while ago. It was a packed house. Among the many speakers was her husband. All of us were glued to his every word, but I just about couldn't listen to him when he talked about her last moments before going for her surgery, the recovery, then the realization that she'd had a stroke, her inability to communicate and the helplessness that everyone felt. It brought up too much that was running through my head during our bleakest days these last few months, including how I'd handle my wife's funeral if it came to that point (I don't think I could talk). I'd say he's a pretty strong guy. But being close to where he is now, I'm confident that he'd say something similar to what I've said: "It ain't me that's strong... it's He that is in me."

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